Category: Joke Board
The Top 14 Signs Santa Needs to Lose Some Weight
(Part I)
14> Each year the naughty list increases in reverse proportion
to his ability to haul his fat ass off the couch.
13> He's started stealing sugar plums from children's visions.
12> His fed up cardiologist wrote a letter to the newspaper
titled "Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. But this is
the last year."
11> The reindeer have been replaced by eight Clydesdales and
a moose.
10> Children are freaking out when they find Santa no longer has
a lap.
9> Got stuck in the chimney at Three Mile Island.
8> His orbit around the Earth is beginning to effect the tides.
7> The one and only present on Mrs. Claus's list? "Shallow Hal
Slim-Ray Spectacles."
6> His new nickname around the North Pole: Santa the Hutt.
5> Comet: sciatica. Donner: pulled hamstring. Dasher: torn ACL.
And Rudolph is faking a limp.
4> This year rather than the customary milk and cookies, Santa
is asking for oxygen and meth.
3> Sudden worldwide felt shortage.
2> When he gets up from his La-Z-Boy, he's got not one but TWO
elves lodged between his butt cheeks.
and the Number 1 Sign Santa Needs to Lose Some Weight...
1> A partridge, two turtle doves, three French hens, four calling
birds -- and that's just his appetizer.
LOL! My favorites are 7, 8, and 13.
llol, cute!
Roflmao! loved them all.